Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
