Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
