people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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