she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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