he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
