I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
