Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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