Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
