Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
