If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
