just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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