singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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