Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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