Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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