dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
