I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
