Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
