I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
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