I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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