i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
