We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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