I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
She's better-looking with the mask on.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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