I think I am morally bankrupt
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
