and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
