you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
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