dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
