She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
pray to the hookup gods
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
