the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
