Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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