I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
