Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
