Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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