just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
