Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
