when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
