____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
