from now on my penis is your penis
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
