Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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