Don't you send me to vm
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
