weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
