capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
