For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
