so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
