I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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