It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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