we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
