Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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