I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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