if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
