well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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