He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
