As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
