He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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