I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
